Homemade Lara Bars


Whole 30 compliant, paleo, gluten free, grain free, homemade Lara Bars

Today is day 23 of our Whole 30.  At this point last time, Mr. Grassroofs and I were having a very serious discussion about giving up while fawning over brownies and Candy Cane Vodka drinks at a wonderful Christmas party hosted by my pal, Kelsie over at TeachFeminista.

We didn’t quit then, but we are grateful that our resolve is much stronger on this go around.  However, the end of a school year for a teacher-administrator duo means an almost constant stream of end-of-the-year parties, slam packed with lovely folks who have a whole lot of self-worth wrapped up in us eating their potato salad.
Whole 30 compliant, paleo, gluten free, grain free, homemade Lara Bars

We’ve also gotten a share of sassy comments about always bringing “rabbit food” to the parties.  So I set to work on finding a delicious treat that would be a big hit at the party.

Mr. G and I have been enjoying Lära Bars as an occasional delicacy, which gave me a good place to start.  Homemade Lara Bars ended up being easy and significantly cheaper than the store bought kind.

Whole 30 compliant, paleo, gluten free, grain free, homemade Lara Bars

Side note: You see figs pictured here, but the written directions call for dates. My local grocery store was out of dates, so I tried to make due.  USE THE DATES!  I tried the recipe again after they restocked the dates and had even better results than with figs.  However, if you really hate dates, use figs.

Basically, you blend the dry ingredients in a food processor- the cashews and cinnamon.  Set that aside and blend the wet ingredients- the figs/dates, dried blueberries, and lemon zest.  The wet ingredients should form a sort of paste.
Whole 30 compliant, paleo, gluten free, grain free, homemade Lara Bars

Knead together the two mixes and shape them into balls or bars.  Just like that, your treats are ready to eat!

I refrigerated mine for a little bit and found the chilliness to be delectable. Maybe you’ll like it too.
Whole 30 compliant, paleo, gluten free, grain free, homemade Lara BarsWhat other Whole 30 compliant dishes do you take to parties?



Predator Cams

This is a post to celebrate Mr. Grassroofs.  He really is an incredible man.  He indulges almost my every whim. Very nearly 100% of them.  Whimsy is what brought us to be chicken and duck owners. And though Mr. G doesn’t find the little boogers nearly as fascinating as I do, when we lost our flock to a predator in late April, he was determined to find out what vicious killer had done the deed.

What he found was indescribable.  Indescribable, but I will try…

A strange predator

He set up the predator cam  in the evening.  You can see above our great tree house and pretty messy tool shed area.  We aren’t a very tidy people, the Pattons. But we have other good qualities that make us lovable.  For instance, I’m really good at eating cookies.

When he came back the next day from a big formal meeting, we found this picture stored on the chip.

A strange predator

I knew it!  I knew that a broad fox, dressed as a bi-pedal man in a striped shirt was after our chickens.  I mean, I really knew that a cross-species dressing coyote had ill will toward my pipsqueak hens but also wanted to be sure to express his professionality.

Thank goodness Mr. G is so indulgent.  Otherwise, he may not appreciate this teasing.



Just a Little Review of YAWP!

Mr. Grassroofs and I are knee deep in our second Whole 30.  Day 17. I want an ice cream cone.  Just one delicious, melty, sweet, perfect for summer time at the water front ice cream.

So, yeah…that’s where I am.  Despite some excellent grilling on the part of Mr. Grassroofs and some clever dessert hacks, I am still fighting some pretty major cravings.  What do you do to fight cravings?

Mr. Grassroofs, on the other hand, says “Not so bad this time” and goes back to playing Guns: The GameGuns is a name of my own invention (original, I know) to describe all the games.  Sometimes I refer to the game a Call of Modern Duty Fare.  But that tends to get a little clunky.

Whole 30, Paleo, Gluten Free, Delicious Yawp Bars

The aforementioned craving for ice cream might paint a good picture of my state of mind when I went to my local co-op the other day.  My utterly despicable laziness rose to the surface, and I searched desperately for prepared food.  I just wanted something that masqueraded as snack food.  And I found it!

These Yawp! Bars are just perfect:

1. They hail from Hillsborough, which is the first city where I was a grown up.  I became a member of a co-op there.  Paid bills, worked at a job, rented an apartment.  I loved Hillsborough; so, being ‘a few fries short of a Happy Meal’ as I was at the time (mmmmmm, Happy Meal) I assumed that anything from Hillsborough must be as delicious as my memories.

2. It is Whole 30 compliant.  That meant I could eat it right at the moment of purchase, and again for all the years to come.  These bars only have 7 ingredients: almonds, dates, sunflower seeds, pepitas (pumpkin seeds), sesame seeds, salt, and cinnamon.

Whole 30, Paleo, Gluten Free, Delicious Yawp Bars

Mr. Grassroofs and I did a blind taste test of two flavors.  I liked them both, but preferred the Naked variety.  They had the crunchy consistency of a Nature’s Valley granola bar with just a hint of sweetness from the dates.   The texture was just right- the nuts and seeds weren’t too coarse or too fine.  I would definitely recommend this (slightly expensive) bar to any Whole-30-er with strong cravings.

Whole 30, Paleo, Gluten Free, Delicious Yawp Bars

Mr. Grassroofs would like to leave you with a quote: One a scale from one to delicious, this was an eleven.

Let’s just say I didn’t marry him from his math skills.

Whole 30, Paleo, Gluten Free, Delicious Yawp Bars

More Whole 30 stuff to come.  In the mean time, did you see my tutorial for how to make mint extract?

Easy One Step Slug Remedy

Have you planted a beautiful garden this season?  Do you check it diligently to ensure the soil remains moist? Did you shoo every stinking bird away until your seed germinated?


DIY Natural Slug Remedy

I carefully planted and tended this spring.  I reveled in the peace I felt as I drew lines in the sandy soil and set seeds in every inch, every six inches, every foot.  When tiny sprouts came up I felt a swell of pride that surely must rival that of bearing a child.

DIY Natural Slug Remedy

Yet, one morning I walked out to my work of art and who should be enjoying the fruits of my labors?  Slugs.  Small, slimy, and so very greedy. Those little guys were absolutely not going to ruin our food prospects for the summer!

DIY Natural Slug Remedy

So I bought a handful of strawberry shortcake tins.  I dug them down a bit so they’d be flush with the soil.  And then I filled each of them with beer.

DIY Natural Slug Remedy

Slugs are gigantic lushes.  They just can’t help themselves from taking advantage of the tasty sweetness of a brewski.  Slugs and I have more in common that I realized.

And just like that, I saved my garden and allowed my pesky friends to die while their dreams came true!